“But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priest, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called YOU out of the darkness into His wonderful light!” -1 Peter 2:9
I don't know if you all are like me, but some of my most "eye opening" times with God is either when I am in the shower or in the car by myself. Probably that's the only time I'm not talking and am replaying the day in my head. But during those times when I focus, I can hear God clearly. So today was a tiring day at work. When I got home I wasn't feeling the best, I was tired, had a headache, and just felt weighed down. And it didn't get better as the evening went on, I felt worse.
So I don't know if you all do this but I will do a check when I start to feel yucky. I'll ask myself, "Am I getting a cold? Have I been around someone who is sick? Allergies?" Then once I answer those as "No", I do a spiritual check. "How was my walk with God today? Did I listen to God more than words of sin today? Did I talk to God today? Did something happen today that would pull my attention off of God?" I normally find my answer to why I feel like crud in one of those questions.
So to go back a bit. I work with a very difficult person. I mean very difficult! She is very disrespectful and rude, to not only myself but to many others. I have never lost my temper or anything to her because that's not me, if someone is going to act childish in the work place well good for them, I frankly don't have time for that. But today, she was on a new level and I was not in the best mood to just ignore her. From the time I got to work all I heard was remarks she had made or was making, either in regards to me or someone else. I was over it. I did not want to be the Christian Lindsey and ignore her and pray for her. She needed to know that she is a butt head! That she can't just go around and act like she's all that and a bag a chips and she certainly had no right to remark on my life or job. If she was going to be rude and mean to everyone else, well she needs a dose of her own medicine! Right?! She's a turd, and I wanted to tell her. I kept ignoring the still small voice saying "Okay now, take a breath and think this through! You're better than this! Just be quiet and pray, lay your burdens down." Oh goodness I was aggravated beyond belief and so wanted to yell at this girl and let her know how is she! And it was going to be with a word that I shouldn't say that starts with a "B", I'm sure you can guess what that is. Butthead. Lol. But I believe that God intervened today and kept us away from each other all afternoon. But shewee, I was still so upset when I got home.
The more I thought about her hatefulness, the madder I got. Still ignoring the voice saying "calm down and listen to me.". My headache and general mood got worse and worse til I decided to take a shower. I turned on Casting Crowns and starting replaying my day trying to figure out why I felt like crap. And God being crazy faithful let me know as soon as I shut up. I let her get to me. I chose to focus on her and negativity instead of letting it go and realize that she must be going through something and instead of wanting to yell at her and show her where she is wrong, I should pray for her where she is having a heart issue. I should extend grace to her, because at one time I was just like her. God reminded me, "Lindsey, didn't I extend grace to you when you were in a similar spot a few years ago? Don't you remember where you were in life when you let me pick you up."
I was her. I was negative, hateful, mean, I was broken, lost, hurt. I was her. And instead of responding how I boule hope someone would respond to me if I was in the situation, I got angry at her, mad, frustrated. It was easier to fall back into the sinful nature of my past instead of seeing her with Grace Glasses. I allowed satan to pull my attention away from God and pull me back into getting an attitude and just yuck! (And of course during this time of "oh wow, whoa!" God chose to hand pick the perfect songs from Casting Crowns-All you ever wanted and So far to find you.) so after all this I realized why I felt like crap today, I've picked up and carrying sins crapbags and let them weigh me down. Well I quickly threw them off after my "oh wow" moment with God.
You see, the purpose of this is, we are always growing and learning with our walk with Christ, we are not immune to sin by accepting Christ into our hearts. If anything satan works twice as hard. But here's the good thing, the great thing God is with us and always there guiding us. We just have to make the decision to listen to Him. We are a new creation in Christ and must stay focused everyday in keeping our eyes on Christ. Another great thing about being God's child, after today, and how I acted, He wasn't mad at me, He didn't say "oh you screwed up! I'm done! Or you won't ever learn!" He was simply waiting for me to stop talking and consuming my mind with negativity to give Him a chance to talk with me and open His arms to me and forgive. To pick me back up and help me stay on the right path.
If you find yourself tonight, worn, frustrated, upset, or just tired, think about those spiritual health questions. Spend some time alone with God and talk with Him, let Him pick you back up , dust you off and help you get back on the right path!
