And The Waves Crashed.

This past month...

It's been a struggle.

It's been frustrating.

It's been quiet, yet loud.

It's been weird.

But it's a new month, a new year, a new day. A better day.

I have felt a distance growing between God and myself over these past few weeks and I have allowed it to continue to grow, I allowed worldly factors distance me from God. You see, God didn't move, I did. I did without realizing it until one day I couldn't feel Him. The senstivity to the Holy Spirit I have had since beginning my walk with Christ, wasn't so much there anymore. And I freaked out. I mean, freaked.
What if I wouldn't get that sensitivity to the Spirit back again? If I can't feel God, has He left me? Is the hedge of protection gone? Am I okay? What's going to happen? I need that closeness back!! All these questions ran in my head in all of a matter of half a second and then the flood came. The flood of fear, anxiety, tears. The flood of failure started to consume me.

You know the story of Peter walking on the water? That was what kept replaying in my mind, I saw Jesus, I called to Him, He called me out, I was confident, sure of the situation. No fear, no worry, nothing but me and my savior. I locked eyes with Him, I brought my foot up and over the side of my boat and placed it down onto the still water, keeping my eyes on my Savior. I could see a smile on His face and I knew a smile was on mine. The other foot came out of the boat and I stood firm on the water, eyes still locked on Jesus. Full of peace, full of excitement, and concrete in knowing that this is what I am supposed to do, there is where I am supposed to be. I am safe with my eyes on my Savior. Then, the wind began to blow, the water begain to move, and it swept over my feet, and the world snapped me back, I took my eyes off and looked down. With me taking my eyes off of Jesus, I fell, I fell quickly into the waters, the deep waters. I fell, unable to grab anything to keep me from going under. And there, is where I stopped. I fell, and I failed.

I know the rest of the story of Peter, I know it so deeply in my heart and in my spirit. It is one of my favorite stories and I know what happens next. But these past few weeks, I haven't been able to get passed the fall into the water. I couldn't see what happens next, though I know what happens, I was stuck in the water. The fear and anxiety crashed over me and brought me down into the water and instead of focusing on reaching the top of the water, all I was was the sea of fear, of anxiety of failure.

And there, I stayed for awhile. I distracted myself with everything I could. I ignored my souls call of alone time with God, for time to surrender my false sense of control and be still. I didn't have time, I needed to help others, I needed to be there for others, I needed to be who they needed me to be. I couldn't take time to focus on what God was trying to tell me because I was too busy. I was caught up in everything I could be caught up in and I sunk a little deeper each day. Instead of dealing with a problem when it happened or processing it then and there, I did what I do, oh so often, I shoved it in the corner, ignored it and went on. My heart broke a little more each day and I chose to ignore it. Though I thought I was doing God's work, I was just making myself busy so I wouldnt have any free time to acknowledge my own brokeness. So, that became my routine, my heart broke a little more each day, I felt the need to pause and speak to Jesus, and I ignored it. I kept going, kept pushing, kept ignoring. I don't want to deal with my emotions and problems, I need to be strong.

Then came the day to break and acknowledge my brokeness. I was so tired, so exhausted, I had been running on fumes and was needing to stop. I needed to stop and read the next part of Peter's story. With tears, prayer, conversation with firm believers and people who have a faith I admire and hope to one day have a faith that strong and constant and with them asking me some hard questions, well simple questions but ones I didnt want to answer. I began to feel God again. You see it took me calling to Him, it took action from me. It took me actively seeking Him.

After Peter fell into the water and began to go under, he shouted "Jesus, help me!" and (get ready, this is my most favorite part) IMMEDIATELY!, not after a while, not quickly, not after Peter suffered for awhile, but IMMEDIATEY!!!! Jesus did not wait or think about it, as soon as Peter called to Him, He was there. He picked Peter up, out of the water and placed him in the boat. I have to fight back tears as I type this, it is such a beautiful image.

That is what I had to do, I had to realize that I can't get out of these swallowing water on my own strength, all I had to do was shout "Jesus, help me!" and He would be there. And let me tell you, when I finally, honestly shout to Jesus, He IMMEDIATELY lifted me! I felt Him, softly, quietly, but I started to feel His presence with me again. And it didn't flood bac all at once, but it trickles, the more I actively seek and acknowledge this brokeness to Him with honesty, the closer I get to Him and the better I feel.

Even when my heart was struck this morning with this post, I was attacked by the enemy, trying to splash me with water to get me to worry and fear instead of trusting and keeping my eyes on my Savior. I pushed through that wave and started to write. It's something that I love, something that I know God prompts me to do and something that gives me peace when I finish a post. So, on came the Pandora-Moriah Peters Station and to typing I began. It has been awhile, and it is long overdue.

Right now, as I attempt to close out this post, the song playing in the background is "All I Need is You" By Adie, and tears are being fought back my friends, the lyrics being repeated are

"All I need is You
All I need is You Lord
Is You Lord

You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold
You hold"

Rest in that, He holds us, and ALL we need is Jesus! If you are standing in the boat, looking at Jesus, and He is calling for you to step out towards Him, do it. He is calling you. If you are standing on that water, eyes locked with your Savior, don't break that contact. If you did, it's okay, if you are falling into the water, all, i repeat, ALL you have to do is shout to Jesus! "Jesus, help me!" And I promise you, IMMEDIATELY He is there, He grabs you out of that water and places you into the boat.

Don't get stuck in the sea, don't let yourself stop at the fall, don't stay falling deeper into the sea, read the next verse, accept the Hope that is there for you through Jesus. Know that you are so valuable to God, YOU! YOU are His master piece and He is there to save you, we just have to act and seek Him!

Happy New Year, New Day, New Hope, New You!

 

http://youtu.be/2p8_4NbrcKA

The Passage

About a year ago or so, a passage had randomly came up in my bible, I had never read it before and believe it was a total God thing, because it showed up during one of my most broken times. Since then, I have has the hardest time finding/remembering the passage fully, the book it is in and everything. I have searched through my bookmarks and higlights in my bible and haven't had any luck finding it. Which I also believe is a God thing. Because this passage hits my heart so hard and brings me back in a such a way, I believe the Lord saves it for me to discover in those times that my heart is hurting and needing and searching for that reminder. And today when I totally didn't expect it, but of so needed it, there the passage was. Top of m newsfeed today, waiting for me and oh how my heart lept with joy and peace!

Some of you may or may not know, these past few weeks have been a valley for me. I don't want to go into lots of detail but Sunday was my day to break down and realize that I was in a valley and that I needed to be aware of it and get out of it. You know those times you just get into a funk and dont realize it until it gets a little deep and youre like "hey, wait a second". That was me on Sunday, but though Sunday was a hard day realizing I was in a pit, it was also a glorious day because it was the start of my breakthrough from the valley. You see, when we are hear on this earth, we will not always be on the mountain top, unfortuantly we can't jump from mountain peak to peak and just stay there. And trust me dear brothers and sisters, I wish so badly that we could stay on mountain tops all the time. There are times we have to go through a valley or two, sometimes 3 or 4.( And also note, that though we can't stay on mountain tops at all times, we also have the power to to not stay in a valley at all times!) It is in those valleys that it hurts, that it is uncomfortable, its not nice and comfy, it just flat out sucks! But remember, it is in those times that we are changed, that we put our words of faith into words of action, we put our faith into actions, that we realize, we can't walk through the valley alone, that we can't get through the rocks and hard spots with our own strength and stamina. We need help, we need God. God wants us to stand on mountain tops, but He also wants us to depend on Him to get us through the valley. It is in the valley that you find yourself. It is in that time that you find out who you are in God, you find out how strong you are, how loved you are and how treasured you are! You just have to pick up yourself, dust off the dirt and say "Come on God, help me to get out of this valley, to treck up that mountain so I can stand on it. I can't do this by myself, I need you to come with me on this journey. Use me Lord, change me to have your eyes, your heart, and give me strength to be an overcomer. For your glory, Jesus!"


I hope this encourages you all today, no matter what season you are in, whether it be a valley or a mountain season, know that God is there with you and wants you to rest in Him. Keep your hearts fixed on Jesus and not on how far you have to go for your breakthrough, just on Jesus because He is your saving grace. Love each of you so so much!!


And without further ado, the passage I orginally started talking about!

"But now, God’s Message,
the God who made you in the first place, Jacob,
the One who got you started, Israel:
“Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
When you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
trade the creation just for you.
“So don’t be afraid: I’m with you.
I’ll round up all your scattered children,
pull them in from east and west.
I’ll send orders north and south:
‘Send them back.
Return my sons from distant lands,
my daughters from faraway places.
I want them back, every last one who bears my name,
every man, woman, and child
Whom I created for my glory,
yes, personally formed and made each one.’”
-Isaiah 43:1-7 (The Message)

Words Can Grow into Weeds

"In the crowd that day there was a woman who for twelve years had been afflicted with hemorrhages. She had spent every penny she had on doctors but not one had been able to help her. She slipped in from behind and touched the edge of Jesus’ robe. At that very moment her hemorrhaging stopped. Jesus said, “Who touched me?” When no one stepped forward, Peter said, “But Master, we’ve got crowds of people on our hands. Dozens have touched you.” Jesus insisted, “Someone touched me. I felt power discharging from me.” When the woman realized that she couldn’t remain hidden, she knelt trembling before him. In front of all the people, she blurted out her story—why she touched him and how at that same moment she was healed. Jesus said, “Daughter, you took a risk trusting me, and now you’re healed and whole. Live well, live blessed!” -Luke 8:43-48

 

Most of the time this story is preached as a message of faith, and I do believe it is a wonderful story of faith, but taking a different approach to the story, the woman as an outcast, the community had banned her, looked down on her, she was named "unclean" and shunned by everyone due to her bleeding. She was almost in the same category of a leper and was banned from any public or holy place. By her touching the cloth of Jesus, her being named "unclean" would have transferred her uncleaniness to him and in that instance, she would have been killed on the spot. but by Jesus calling her out and her responding, he called her "daughter", he called her family and then that took her label of "unclean"away. So, try to think what words had been spoken to this woman by her town, the words that were planted in her and grew until she herself, stayed hidden. But just as much as those bad seeds had grown, there was still something within her she knew, she knew she could be healed, she knew she could be washed clean. Though she knew she would have been killed for stepping forward and admitting she had touched Jesus, she knew even more and believed even more that he would save her, and he did.

 

Think about your life, think about the lies and words that others have spoken to you that you have allowed to grow. I know I have my garden of weeds that have been growing for as long as I can remember, but who is watering those seeds? Is Jesus? Is satan? Are you? No matter how many seeds of lies you hold in your heart, you, just like the woman, have an underlying knowledge that they can go away. That those seeds of lies and hurt can be cleansed away by Jesus. God created you sister, He formed you in your mothers womb, He knew you before the world was form and He carefully placed each piece of you together, and He placed it together with perfection and love, and anything that anyone on this world has spoken to you that does not match up to what God thinks of you, guess what? It is a lie, it is a lie straight from the enemy himself. You are beautiful, you are smart, you are kind, you are lovely, you are important, you are needed, you are loved, you are talented, you are being used for wonderful things and are going to continued to used for such bigger things, and you are the daughter of THE RISEN KING! Believe it, sister!

 

Those years of hurt that has scattered seeds in your heart and has grown into a garden of weeds, that tell you that you are stupid, or ugly, or awful, or not good enough, THOSE ARE ALL LIES! Ask God to cleanse the garden of your heart from any seeds that are not planted by Jesus Christ himself! See yourself as Christ sees you, BEAUTIFUL AND A MASTERPIECE! God created you, He is the one to tell you who you are, not this world, not the people of this world. The world did not create you, the people of this world did not carefully piece you together, GOD DID! Therefore only God's opinion of you matters, and that opinion is that you are beautiful, you have a purpose, and YOU ARE HIS!

The Well

As I was driving home I had my phone plugged up to my radio and I had my playlist on shuffle and I have such an array of music, you never know what will play next if it is on shuffle! Lol But One of the ways God communicates with me is by music. Sometimes a song will come on and it will be just like God is talking directly to me! 

Tonight the song that came on and struck my heart was Casting Crowns "The Well". I don't know if y'all never heard that but I encourage you to look it up and listen to it and really focus on the lyrics!  As the song was playing I remembered the story of Hagar and her son Ishmael. A short paraphrase of the story(totally recommend you reading the whole story starting with Abraham and Sara) 

Abraham and Hagar conceived a child named Ishmael, after sometime Sara had Abraham send Hagar and her son away and they got lost in the desert. Abraham gave them some food and water when they left but not enough. Soon after the food and water was gone, Hagar and her young son Ishmael began to get dehydrated and Ishmael began crying constantly. Hagar thought they were going to die in the dessert, so she laid Ishmael beside a bush in the shade because she could not bare to see her son die or her son see her die. She walked and sat down a few yards away from her son and began to pray and cry out to The Lord. I can't remember her exact words but it was along the lines of "God please come and help us. We need water, we need you to guide us. I do not want to see my child die in the desert, Lord I need you." Again-paraphrased a bit. But something then happened that caused Hagar to look up(I believe an Angel had came to her), and a few yards off she saw a Well. A well that had been there but she didn't see. 

God was providing for Hagar and Ishmael, He was making sure that they would be taken care of, but they had to seek Him first! 

Jesus is the living water of life and He's not just going to come out of nowhere and just give us water before we began to thirst. We have to seek Him, we have to thirst!  We have to pray and cry out to God, we have to surrender and know that we can't do this on our own, that we need Him!  We have to seek His face for healing, mending, Grace, and Mercy. And He is never late, He is always on time!! 

The song says "Those who thirst, will thirst no more. Those who search will find what their souls long for." Then it says "Just leave it all behind, and come to the Well"

Hagar gathered Ishmael and left the bad behind and went to the Well. She laid it down and went to the Well and filled her and her child with water! She searched for God and she found Him. 

What do you need to leave behind before you go to the Well? 

 

Seek God, cry out to The Lord. He hears every prayer, from a faint whisper to a scream. He hears you and He is with you!

Praying that God meets you where you are tonight and that you are covered with peace. 

-Linds

"But you are not like that...."

“But you are not like that, for you are a chosen people. You are royal priest, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called YOU out of the darkness into His wonderful light!” -1 Peter 2:9

 

 

  I don't know if you all are like me, but some of my most "eye opening" times with God is either when I am in the shower or in the car by myself. Probably that's the only time I'm not talking and am replaying the day in my head. But during those times when I focus, I can hear God clearly. So today was a tiring day at work. When I got home I wasn't feeling the best, I was tired, had a headache, and just felt weighed down. And it didn't get better as the evening went on, I felt worse.

 

So I don't know if you all do this but I will do a check when I start to feel yucky. I'll ask myself, "Am I getting a cold? Have I been around someone who is sick? Allergies?" Then once I answer those as "No", I do a spiritual check. "How was my walk with God today? Did I listen to God more than words of sin today? Did I talk to God today? Did something happen today that would pull my attention off of God?" I normally find my answer to why I feel like crud in one of those questions.

 

So to go back a bit. I work with a very difficult person. I mean very difficult! She is very disrespectful and rude, to not only myself but to many others. I have never lost my temper or anything to her because that's not me, if someone is going to act childish in the work place well good for them, I frankly don't have time for that. But today, she was on a new level and I was not in the best mood to just ignore her. From the time I got to work all I heard was remarks she had made or was making, either in regards to me or someone else. I was over it. I did not want to be the Christian Lindsey and ignore her and pray for her. She needed to know that she is a butt head! That she can't just go around and act like she's all that and a bag a chips and she certainly had no right to remark on my life or job. If she was going to be rude and mean to everyone else, well she needs a dose of her own medicine! Right?! She's a turd, and I wanted to tell her. I kept ignoring the still small voice saying "Okay now, take a breath and think this through! You're better than this! Just be quiet and pray, lay your burdens down." Oh goodness I was aggravated beyond belief and so wanted to yell at this girl and let her know how is she! And it was going to be with a word that I shouldn't say that starts with a "B", I'm sure you can guess what that is. Butthead. Lol. But I believe that God intervened today and kept us away from each other all afternoon. But shewee, I was still so upset when I got home.

                                             

 

The more I thought about her hatefulness, the madder I got. Still ignoring the voice saying "calm down and listen to me.". My headache and general mood got worse and worse til I decided to take a shower. I turned on Casting Crowns and starting replaying my day trying to figure out why I felt like crap. And God being crazy faithful let me know as soon as I shut up. I let her get to me. I chose to focus on her and negativity instead of letting it go and realize that she must be going through something and instead of wanting to yell at her and show her where she is wrong, I should pray for her where she is having a heart issue. I should extend grace to her, because at one time I was just like her. God reminded me, "Lindsey, didn't I extend grace to you when you were in a similar spot a few years ago? Don't you remember where you were in life when you let me pick you up."  

                                            

I was her. I was negative, hateful, mean, I was broken, lost, hurt. I was her. And instead of responding how I boule hope someone would respond to me if I was in the situation, I got angry at her, mad, frustrated. It was easier to fall back into the sinful nature of my past instead of seeing her with Grace Glasses. I allowed satan to pull my attention away from God and pull me back into getting an attitude and just yuck! (And of course during this time of "oh wow, whoa!" God chose to hand pick the perfect songs from Casting Crowns-All you ever wanted and So far to find you.) so after all this I realized why I felt like crap today, I've picked up and carrying sins crapbags and let them weigh me down. Well I quickly threw them off after my "oh wow" moment with God.

 

You see, the purpose of this is, we are always growing and learning with our walk with Christ, we are not immune to sin by accepting Christ into our hearts. If anything satan works twice as hard. But here's the good thing, the great thing God is with us and always there guiding us. We just have to make the decision to listen to Him. We are a new creation in Christ and must stay focused everyday in keeping our eyes on Christ. Another great thing about being God's child, after today, and how I acted, He wasn't mad at me, He didn't say "oh you screwed up! I'm done! Or you won't ever learn!" He was simply waiting for me to stop talking and consuming my mind with negativity to give Him a chance to talk with me and open His arms to me and forgive. To pick me back up and help me stay on the right path.

 

If you find yourself tonight, worn, frustrated, upset, or just tired, think about those spiritual health questions. Spend some time alone with God and talk with Him, let Him pick you back up , dust you off and help you get back on the right path!

 

Choosing Peace

Peace is something I struggle with daily. It is easier for me to grab and hold onto the the fear, worry, anxiety, and any stress that this world throws at me, because that is what I am used to, it is what I have done my whole life. What is hard is to surrender, to release, and lay it at the foot of the cross. Because once that I lay my burdens at the cross, God is right there to throw them away from me and hold me. So, why is th...at so hard? I mean if you look at it, it should be the other way around. It should be easy to pick peace over fear. It should be easy to lay down those fear and burdens at the cross. And it should be a struggle to pick up any stress, worry, fear, heartbreak that is from this world and not from God.

Today, I choose peace. I choose to lay it down at the foot of the cross and leave it there. On Monday morning I choose to live in the peace that Christ gives me constantly, and I will continue to choose peace. Every morning, every hour, every minute, every moment, I will choose peace.

If you find yourself this morning struggling with anything from this world that the enemy is trying to use to steal your peace, I am praying that you will choose peace. That you will bring it to the foot of the cross and lay it down. That is what I had to do last night, I went to a room by myself, played one of my favorite praise songs, got on my face and prayed, praise, and prayed some more. I asked God to take my fear and worries away and to bring me to where my trust is without borders.

I pray you find your peace today. I pray you feel God's embrace around you. I pray you feel His love for you. You are strong, you are worthy, you are beautiful, you are loved, and you are a child of the Risen King. You are royalty.

Choose peace! I will be praying that whatever is on your heart, whatever is trying to take your peace, whatever is hurting you, I pray that Jesus will meet you where you are and work so mightly to cover you with peace, strength, love, and clarity!